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| Jay in hibernation |
4/20/12 The Relocation (Sarah via Jay)
During the winter, living with Jay was tolerable. I have to admit he was nice to snuggle up to during the long, cold nights... although it was frustrating to see him remain in bed each morning when I had to go to work. With the coming of spring, however, Jay emerged from his hibernation. It didn't take long before his grouchiness and ravenous appetite began to grate on my nerves. When I caught him eating brownies that I had made for church, I decided something had to be done.
If you should happen to run across Jay, try not to encourage his bad eating habits. Don’t let him see your food, or he will pester you endlessly. I’m sorry I had to relocate him, but it was the most humane of the options I hadn’t already tried. The shock collar, pepper spray, and rubber bullets just didn’t seem to work. This whole unfortunate situation reminds me of a poem I once read on a bumper sticker:
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| Better than shiny things for luring hikers! |
First, I coaxed Jay into the car by telling him we were going to Dairy Queen. Then I drove as far south as I could without a passport. Five-hundred miles later, when I stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, Jay said suspiciously “I don’t see any Dairy Queen.” "That’s OK honey,” I replied, “I hear people often leave treats out here.” When he wasn’t looking, I dropped a couple of Snickers Bars on the ground. It didn’t take long for him to sense them. As he was occupied with their consumption, I quietly returned to the car and sped away. I’ll never forget how the look on his face changed from confusion to shock as he grew smaller in my rear view mirror.
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Jay eating church brownies.
I think this was a motion-triggered cameraSarah had set. |
If you love someone
Let him go.
If he returns
Then take him farther away next time.
I think that’s how it went.... well... close enough.
[Editor's note: This post was actually written by Jay as he imagined his wife, Sarah, thinking. If you're new to this blog, Jay completed the AT in September 2011. Check out his AT blog for more of his imagination. http://jaybigelowappalachiantrail2011.blogspot.com/]
